My husband and I never could have guessed that we would find ourselves at this junction. And when we found out we were pregnant the first time, never imagined our journey would bring us to where we are today.
This pregnancy/loss has been quite hard. Although we were maybe more prepared for the news about it not being viable due to our history, it is trying my patience to see this through to the end with a positive outlook.
If you stick around and spend time in my blog you will learn that my husband and I are working with specialists to conceive, as well as also figure out how to stay pregnant and carry to term. We once found ourselves as part of the TTC (Trying to Conceive) group. But I’ve now realised; after figuring out my science to conception through hormone pills and injections; that we have joined a new group: the RPL (Recurrent Pregnancy Loss) group.
The reason this loss is trying is because it’s moved away from a ‘standard’ miscarriage and after close monitoring, countless trips for bloodwork and several ultrasounds, this miscarriage was determined to be of undetermined location and thus treated as ectopic. After further monitoring to see if my body would finally figure its life out and get its shit together, I was advised we were reaching a break point, and for safety reasons, we should move forward with a Methotrexate injection.
Now, just a fair warning, I am going to be a little over dramatic: Methotrexate is in the Chemo family. It attacks and kills dividing cells. It also, I am learning through experience, makes you feel like a bag of shit. Thanks Life! So pumped you decided I need to go through one more of these AND say “guess what, this time there’s a TWIST! Ok, sorry, I know, there are people with much worst problems out there!
I will write a full post on Methotrexate for anyone who is wondering a little more about it and what you can expect if you are presented with this option.
So Now We Hang in Limbo Yet Again
In a pregnancy, you have a lot of waiting. You wait for your opportunity to be fertile, you wait for your opportunity test for a positive, then in my case, you then wait to see if it’s viable. Now I wait, for my body, through the help of this drug, to annihilate whatever it is my body thought it was doing.
And I’m going to do it with a little self-care, self-acceptance and some essential oils. Because spending too much time in my head repeating sarcastic little quips isn’t actually going to help me get to the other side with my sanity intact.
Which Oils do I Use?
I’m going to list my 4 favourite oils, but this is in no way an extensive list of oils that can be used. The important thing to remember about essential oils for mental health is that if the internet tells you this oil is uplifting and for motivation, but when you smell it all your stress melts away… They for you, that oil is a stress reliever. Essential oils have basic properties, BUT they are also a personal experience. Part of the beautiful thing about using essential oils for mental health and self-care is that they force you to look inside and really get to know yourself.
1. Frankincense:
I never was a huge Frank user until more recently and now I don’t know how I ever went without it. As with most of the oils that I’m going to mention, it is a ‘grounding’ oil. It helps you sprout roots from the soles of your feet and keeps you grounded to deal with life (figuratively speaking of course). When I take the time to smell Frankincense in my day or before bed, I always have a sense of watching my anxiety melt away; replaced by a new courage and
3. Cedarwood
Cedarwood is known for its sedative and calming effects. When I need to relax, calm down or ‘take a chill pill’, I use Cedarwood. When I bought my first bottle of it, the smell instantly reminded me of a musty hay bale… Fair Warning. BUT it very quickly became a favourite as I noticed how much it helped to melt away my anxiety during the day. It’s also a bed since it has been found to have similar responses as taking Melatonin. It lives on my nightstand.
3. Lavender
Lavender is famous as a stress reliever and mood booster. Its floral scent is warm and inviting. Now, if I’m being honest, this isn’t my more recently oil, I much prefer the woodsy scents, but there is no doubt to mention Lavender to my blends helps my mind. It is also known to have positive It helps the nervous system.
4. Bergamot
Bergamot is easily my favourite oil from the citrus family. It is known to help relieve feelings of depression by promoting cheerfulness and improving
How Do I Use Them?
I use these oils most often in 1 of 2 ways:
- In the bathtub
- Or topically, as needed throughout the day
When I Use Them in the Tub:
I always live by the ‘less is more’ rule. Remember, the oils WILL NOT dilute in the tub and in fact the warm water can increase your sensitivity. So please use caution when using here because it isn’t going to help your mental health or anxiety If you have to jump out of the bath after 5minutes due to burning skin. Personally, Lavender for me is fine directly in the water, Frankincense I know will cause skin irritation, so I avoid using it in this way.
A safe way around this is to take 1 or 2 drops of whichever oils you choose, add them to a carrier oil of choice, and apply to temples and back of neck. This way, you get all the benefits of the oils and the bath at the same time without the risk of having undiluted oils irritate you.
If you know you have extremely sensitive skin and prefer not to risk this topical use even with a carrier, you can diffuse the oils near your bath.
When I Use Them Topically ThroughoutThe Day:
I will create a roller bottle with my blend of choice and keep it in my purse. I always use the time used to apply the blend as a timeout. So when I get a call from my nurse and she gives me the same news I always get, and her sweet and sympathetic voice tells me that this will infact be a repeat event; I will then step away from my desk, take a full 2 minutes to feel what I am feeling, apply the oil blend to my palms and breath deeply into my hands until I am calm again.
In the evening, I will always apply the blend and breath deeply into my hands before I settle in to read. I will then repeat after putting the book down and turning the light off. This is often when I need it most because despite being exhausted, this is usually when I have the most trouble turning my brain off.
In Conclusion
Living with recurrent pregnancy loss is tough, it feels like a never-ending cycle. When I see the second line on a home pregnancy test, my stomach knots up and the only thing I can wonder is: When will the complications start? How long do I have until this one fails too?
Now I know that staying positive is important, I know that re-directing my thoughts is crucial, but I also am realistic about the pattern that has presented itself to my husband and I. And I also know that allowing yourself to be in the now and accepting your situation is the first step to finding a way to deal with it in a healthy manner. To being able to carry on through each loss and try again.
So although essential oils can’t keep me from having this miscarriage, they can give my mind the help I need to keep myself from falling into a dark pit. They really are a wonderful tool that we have at our fingertips for focusing on self-care, self-awareness, and self-love; which are all VERY important on any journey.
If you’ve used essential oils to help you with RPL or with anything else which is difficult in your life, I would love to hear about it in the comments 🙂